


pipe dreams (inked in skin)

by fuechsli



Series: andreil week 2019 [3]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andreil Week 2019, Drabble, M/M, Neil gets a tattoo, Tattoos, With meaning, a contemplation of the meaning of certain words, and a certain blond midget, but it's not bad, it's soft and tender and more introspection than actual story, mention of scarring and neil's past, only a little hint of angst, whom we all treasure and love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-24 21:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19731826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuechsli/pseuds/fuechsli
Summary: Neil does some introspection on the new mark that will adorn his body.(And he loves Andrew.)-----Pipe Dream; noun; an unattainable or fanciful hope or scheme-----written for #andreilweek2019.day 3 ≫ phobia | language | tattoo/piercing





	pipe dreams (inked in skin)

**Author's Note:**

> just a short drabble this time, nothing great AU about it^^
> 
> hope you like it.

Neil has thought about it for a long time now, the reality of it. He’s thought about putting a mark on his skin that he chose for himself, one that has a meaning other than forever carving memories of pain and blood and desperation into his flesh.  
It would mean enduring pain in order to _create_ , a proof that he’s alive, a proof that the stains marring his body can be turned into something beautiful, that their stories and their past have to be acknowledged but haven’t put a definite “THE END” at the bottom yet, because he’s not dead yet, and his book isn’t finished yet; there are many pages left to fill.

“Pipe Dream,” he thinks, because what else could better describe the life he’s living right now?  
“Reality,” maybe, yes, but try to sell that to a Neil —an Alex, a Chris, a Stefan — from five, ten years ago, and he’d laugh in your face.

“Pipe Dream, noun,” he thinks, “an unattainable or fanciful hope or scheme.”  
But Andrew’s skin feels real under his fingertips, his breath is warm against Neil’s cheek, and he couldn’t possibly _imagine_ the fierce light shining in these hazel eyes, the amount of sarcasm, support, and pride Andrew manages to convey with just a single lift of his eyebrow.

“Pipe Dream,” he thinks, because he _remembers_. Because he’s not a side effect of the drugs, because _this_ is as real as it gets, and anyway, Andrew has always appreciated irony.

“Pipe Dream,” because it means everything it’s not, because it’s the end and the beginning, it’s “ _don’t leave_ ” and “ _stay_ ” and “ _you couldn’t possibly get rid of me, asshole_.”  
It’s the weight of keys in his hands, the feeling of chapped lips on his, Andrew’s hands and skin and bones, and— and now, this. The electric buzz of a tattoo gun, a faint metallic taste in his mouth, pain that doesn’t seem so bad, really, but still manages to catch him by surprise, a quiet, fond sigh ghosting over Andrew’s lips, when the skin of his wrist pales because Neil’s got such a death grip on it.

A definition written on his ribcage, where his heart sits, where the slash of a knife criss-crosses with a road-abrasion. Stories coming together, the past blurring to the point where it doesn’t hurt quite so much anymore.

Stark black letters on reddened skin.

Andrew smiles, wryly, and leans down to kiss the mark when the tattoo artist has her back turned just for a moment.

It’s hope and a future and a home to come back to.

It’s Andrew and everything he means, everything he _is_. 

**Author's Note:**

> in theory, for me, it's two in the morning right now, but here in Montreal, where we just arrived today, it's only eight in the evening. yay jetlag.  
> this means that the #andreilweek2019 updates could get somewhat sporadic, but I hope to be able to at least post a few :)


End file.
